blackhawkey:

maybe if i change shirts and switch seats and put on my lucky socks and turn off the lights and open a window and eat three bowls of ice cream then my team will score a goal

(via blad-dz)

rabioheab:

so do you guys think the world is going to end in 2012 or what 

(via michael-neal)

disneyprincest:

when a female hits puberty, her breasts fill up with milk for her future child and stays there until she dies. thats why, when you die, your body smells because the milk starts to spoil. i took AP biology trust me on this one. 

(via michael-neal)

jeou:

have you ever been disappointed upon discovering whats for dinner

because i have

(via michael-neal)

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

(via jimcraig)